Today I wanted to talk about a card from my oracle deck.
25. Act on what you need, not what you want
Affirmation: I am constantly working towards opportunities, I don’t hold myself back, I trust myself to follow through on commitments to myself.
This cards song:
This card is a little sassy!
You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are totally doing everything else? You know you should be working on that project, but you just don’t feel like doing anything. Procrastination usually involves ignoring an unpleasant, but likely more important task, in favor of one that is more enjoyable or easier. But giving in to this impulse can have serious consequences. For example, even minor episodes of procrastination can make us feel guilty or ashamed. It can lead to reduced productivity and cause us to miss out on achieving our goals.
Creating a life you want to be living means setting aside your immediate wants and desires right now and focusing on the things that need to get done. Living Intentionally is about doing the things that are important to you even when they’re not easy. We have all felt like a fraud in various parts of our lives when we have to force ourselves to do something that is a part of something else we want to do. I love creating resin jewelry but uploading photos to etsy and tagging each post is SO boring and tedious! But if I want to continue to make jewelry I have to sell it and to sell it I need to have good listings on Etsy which means putting in the effort on each listing even though it feels like such a chore. We need to understand that sometimes that’s what creating our ideal life looks like: choosing to do the things that are important to us even when they’re not easy or don’t come naturally. When we set out on this journey to love ourselves more effectively it means defining your values and making choices that reflect those values. It’s making a commitment to put down the phone when you know you’re just zoning out. It’s choosing to get up and exercise even though you hate it. It’s making time to serve in your community or giving up fast fashion. It doesn’t mean you have to bike to the grocery store just because your neighbors do, but it does mean evaluating your family’s values and goals and intentionally choosing activities that align with those, even when those activities take effort on your part.
If you can manage to bypass the excuses, ‘it’s not what you want it’s what you need’, it will dramatically change the course of your life for the better. Everyone who changes their job and finds rewarding employment discovers they are so much more productive and happier. Ask anyone who has left a sad relationship which was not working how they felt once they bypassed the excuses and left, they will chorus ‘ecstatic’. What does a relationship which does not work look like? In my opinion one or more of the following:- not being able to communicate, sleeping in separate rooms, arguing most of the time, not seeing eye to eye, made to feel guilty, domestic violence, being put down, controlled verbally and suffering physical abuse.
Wishing and hoping while continuing to do nothing will not bring change!! As Albert Einstein’s famous quote states: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result”. So how do you give yourself a dose of what you need? It is very simple: ‘do it’! Everything has a knack of working out or, if that doesn’t work, find someone trained to help you with your specific need.
Studies of happiness and wealth repeatedly show that beyond a certain level of income or material prosperity, happiness levels do not continue to increase with increased levels of wealth. That is to say, once you have what you actually need (and maybe plus a little extra for security/retirement), you are set in terms of how your happiness level will be impacted. Other factors then become more central to your sense of happiness or fulfillment. Too often, in a materialistic society, people can become myopically preoccupied or even obsessed with achieving greater levels of wealth and/or amassing the trappings that wealth can provide. While it can feel good to earn a high salary, and while there is nothing morally wrong with doing so, to expect that a higher amount in your bank account will keep you fully satisfied emotionally is short-sighted.
The key to happiness is this: The fulfillment of our needs, not our wants, is what makes us happy.
Understand this and act accordingly, we would do better to focus on how much is enough to fulfill our various needs, and strive for balance in our lives. Distributing efforts across domains is wiser than being plugged into one area too much of the time. Beyond meeting our level of need, the extra effort in that direction tends to become excessive, distracting, and even stressful. For example, pursuing extra wealth when we are lacking in family connection reflects an imbalance, and is less emotionally rewarding than having less wealth but better relationships.
People are multi-faceted beings who have needs in various spheres or domains. There are general areas that those who study happiness tend to mention when talking about life balance and personal satisfaction. These areas are mental, emotional, physical, interpersonal, and spiritual. What any one person experiences as being enough in any one area, and how that might look or what form that may take in any one person’s life, is what makes us individuals. Different strokes, and all. But basically, when self-examining, we would do better to gain clarity on what we really need in each area, and separate that from what we think we want. Then work toward fulfillment of those needs, while keeping our wanting in check.
A natural tendency with something that is rewarding is to want more and more. More is better, right? Well, not necessarily. There can be (and usually is) a cost to pursuing more over here while neglecting things over there. So be mindful of your natural human tendency to want more of a good thing – that impetus can confuse us and lead us off course. Such impulses are useful when resources are scarce and we need to strive to survive. But there thankfully is a limit when it comes to meeting personal needs, and that is what we need to keep in mind when pursuing happiness in the modern world
The difference between a negative life and one filled with love, hope and positivity, lies in one word: Responsibility. Everyone is given the chance to be negative or look for positivity. When we blame others or ourselves for our pain and cling on to the past, we are unable to live in the present and move beyond into our best life. We need to take responsibility for how we react to the perceived wrongs people (or ourselves) have committed, and choose to rise above and release the negative energy. Only when we let go of the cumbersome negative past can we truly experience liberation and progress forward in life. Today, I abandon my old habits and take up new positive ones. Realize that any difficult time is only a short phase of life. This too shall pass along with your old habits as you take in the new. You are fully adapting being with creative energy which surges through you and leads you to new and brilliant ideas and the mindset that allows that energy to flow.
- Create a list. What are your wants, what are your needs? Do you understand the difference?
- Line it up: Your vibration (or belief) has to match your desire. That’s how the two will be brought together. An example: If you are affirming, “I make $50,000 a month from my business” but you haven’t even printed a business card yet or put the word out there that you are in business, you will have a major discrepancy between what is, and what can be.
- journal prompt: If you didn’t have to worry about money or people’s opinions, what would you do with your life? What was your childhood dream and why? What happened to that dream and why? Where could you be better about addressing and attending to your NEEDS? Where do your wants and needs interfere?
I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What it Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It by Barbara Sher
The Artist’s Guide: How to Make a Living Doing What You Love by Jackie Battenfield
Check out my podcast!