Wellness Wednesdays

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06 How to take the HARD out of your life – A Licensed Therapist and a Personal Trainer discuss the pyramid of Mental and Physical Health

APRIL 27, 2022 THEA M AND AMY V SEASON: 1 EPISODE: 6

We reflect on our amazing interview last week. And we argue about what hard work is. If you didn’t get enough of the ideas from last week, here are them again rehashed and argued about. Words matter. The house we build with our words can create a life of fulfillment or mystery. Learn how to unlock your inner power with Amy and Thea.  A little bit of sass, probably some pet hair and a messy bun, we bring it all together to give you our best recommendations for creating your best life. Sometimes the curve balls life throws you is just the universe helping you find something better.  We give you the tricks to better flex through everything, to help you create the life you want. For humans who want to be healthier and happier.

You guys, this podcast is so amazing. I feel so blessed to be apart of it. Relistening to this episode I got so happy. I love Amy. 

We don’t really reflect on the Nat episode, instead it’s more like we argue about the word Hard.

Do things have to be hard?

And I still stand by that good things worth having are hard to get to because they take effort. And Amy believes things will take effort but they don’t have to be hard. She thinks we should be mindful of framing things as hard. And I agree with her about that. We should think about the words we use. 

When we say something is HARD. We make a choice in our head to choose to be miserable. We actually create most our life with our thoughts. So things we label in our life, gives those things bins to fit in. This is something that is hard. I don’t do hard things, therefore I dont do that thing. You easily classify things constantly. So lets be mindful, because more things can be achieved thru effort and persistence. 

Our words LITERALLY build our reality, like Amy says in the podcast. We have control over the word we build. We can choose to build a world where we are miserable and suffering or we can chose a world we prosper. As human beings, we possess a unique and powerful cognitive ability to focus our attention on something other than what is happening in the here and now. This ability to focus our attention on something other than the present is really amazing. It allows us to learn and plan and reason in ways that no other species of animal can. 

You can actually Strengthen your brain against anxiety. We can do this by starting right now to be more mindful. Just Be mindful. Mindfulness strengthens the pre-frontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that can be sent offline by anxiety. Without the full capacity of the pre-frontal cortex to weigh in on decision-making, decisions are more likely to become fixed and rigid and driven by intrusive emotions that don’t deserve the influence. Mindfulness strengthens the brain’s capacity to filter out distractions to make more grounded, relevant decisions. It limits the influence of the things that don’t matter, so you can focus on the things that do. (Here you go – this articles explains it in more detail.)

Reframing thoughts does not have to be hard. As Amy says we have the power over what words we chose to describe our life with. How do we break the complaining cycle? But everything feels hard, life is not fair So how do you break this habit? We can actually use positive reframing, we can start this right now by Identifying negative self-talk. Stop and notice when you are having a negative conversation with yourself. Refer back to the examples above to remember that not all negative self-talk is direct and verbal. I had a therapist tell me to rewrite every negative thought I had to a positive one and then read thru the list every time I thought a new negative thought. It was a difficult exercise, but it really helped me.

Also TAKE IN REALITY! Are you really the biggest failure that ever lived? Look for evidence.  Identify what evidence supports this idea. For example, if you tell yourself that you are not qualified for a job you want, ask yourself:  1. Do other people with my qualifications have similar positions?  2. Do I have a passion for this work and a willingness to learn? 3. Does the job description have non-negotiable requirements in it that I do not meet, or more general desires for the position? Asking yourself these reframing questions can really help you Start to identify patterns. Are there consistent situations you find yourself in, or behaviors in others, that make you judge yourself?  These are your triggers. 

You have been in a habit your whole life of thinking negatively about yourself. Why? Spend time thinking about where these might come from. Perhaps you had a parent, sibling, friend, significant other, coworker, or boss in the past who treated you a certain way and you felt powerless to respond. As a result, you turned inward to try to regain a sense of control over the situation. you wont relearn over past behavior super easy, but it doesnt have to be hard.

Also reframe your sentences form the beginning. Change “I” to “You” in your negative statements. Rather than saying, “I am so lazy” when you skip the gym again, say “You are so lazy” and notice the difference in how it feels. Spoiler alert, you are not lazy! You would never tell your best friend, “You look fat and awful” upon seeing her in an outfit. So, why is it okay to do the same thing to yourself? Amy constantly reminds me of this. She’s always like, you think we are the same size? And I am like yeah we are like twins and she’s like ok, do you think I am fat? And I am like oh my gosh NO your so skinny and fit, and she’s like yeah so were twins right. Ugh yes, she is right. it is often so easy to hate ourselves but love those around us for the things we have but not ourselves. it takes serious practice to get out of those cycles… Externalizing the criticism can help you hear how hard it really is. You’ll hear what you sound like when telling someone you love that they are not good enough. You would never do that.

Hey its hard being human, but we don’t have to make it harder.

I love than Amy and I argue, I hope you got something out of our conversation, because we had a great time putting this episode together! Click HERE to listen NOW!

Check out the book we recommend in the episode:

this is the body scan Amy discussed in the episode
here’s your sign to take a yoga class