Tarot Tuesday ~ Self Respect

Respecting yourself is the first step toward understanding you deserve love, consideration, and opportunities like everyone else.

Self Respect is something I have had to work on and invest in. I am launching my 36 day challenge tomorrow and that whole challenge is about FINDING self respect for yourself, so I wanted to talk about tarot and self respect today….

I want to talk today about self respect.

One of the best ways to find self respect is to be able to assess your values and make sure they align with your goals. What are your values?

Who do you want to be? Look within and question what practices make you feel your absolute best. Then, pay yourself the respect of prioritizing them daily. For example, exercising regularly, starting every day with a green juice, and being under the covers by 10 p.m. are all ways I show myself respect.

Once you know what makes you feel good, continue to prioritize it—not only with yourself but with others. Lead with honesty. This means that if you know working outdoors at a farm sanctuary is what you’re here to do, then you have no business working 9 to 5 at a desk job for the next decade. You’re disrespecting your talents and interests, and you’re keeping the desk job from someone who’d actually excel in that position. The only way to stand out is to be your idiosyncratic, real, quirky self. It’s easier said than done, but consider this: All those folks you look up to have taken ownership of what sets them apart and leveraged it to their advantage. Read more HERE

My challenge launching tomorrow 🙂

How to build Self Respect.

For the next 30 days, maybe try my 36 day challenge 🙂

For the next 30 days, draw a tarot card and journal about why that card reminds you to respect yourself.

I drew the 10 of swords for today…..

When the Ten of Swords appears in a reading, it is not a great omen. Number ten of this suit represents being backstabbed, hitting rock bottom, and experiencing failure and betrayal.

In a career reading, the Ten of Swords might represent failure. A big project that you have been working on could go up in flames at any moment. The resulting emotions you feel will be defeat, despair, and anger.

This got me thinking tho. Back to the prompt. Why would the 10 of swords remind me of self resepct?

BECAUSE!

I have failed so incredibly hard in my life but I always get back up. I have learned something from every single one of my failures. I have hit rock bottom so many times that nothing scares me.

Failure is an opportunity. It’s a chance to reevaluate and come back stronger with better reasoning. Failure is not fatal. No matter how hard it may be know that failure simply means you get another shot to try it all again.

The sweetest victory is the one that’s most difficult. The one that requires you to reach down deep inside, to fight with everything you’ve got, to be willing to leave everything out there on the battlefield—without knowing, until that do-or-die moment, if your heroic effort will be enough. Society doesn’t reward defeat, and you won’t find many failures documented in history books.

When the rewards of success are great, embracing possible failure is key to taking on a variety of challenges, whether you’re reinventing yourself by starting a new business or allowing yourself to trust another person to build a deeper relationship. “To achieve any worthy goal, you must take risks,” says writer and speaker John C. Maxwell. In his book Failing Forward: Turning Mistakes into Stepping Stones for Success, he points to the example of legendary aviator Amelia Earhart, who set several records and achieved many firsts in her lifetime, including being the first female pilot to fly solo over the Atlantic Ocean.

Ok don’t you see how Tarot can be really useful? imagine the insights you’d gain if you did this every day!

HERE are some CBT ways to build self esteem and self respect….

1. Identify troubling conditions or situations

Think about the conditions or situations that seem to deflate your self-esteem. Common triggers might include:

  • A work or school presentation
  • A crisis at work or home
  • A challenge with a spouse, loved one, co-worker or other close contact
  • A change in roles or life circumstances, such as a job loss or a child leaving home

2. Become aware of thoughts and beliefs

Once you’ve identified troubling situations, pay attention to your thoughts about them. This includes what you tell yourself (self-talk) and your interpretation of what the situation means. Your thoughts and beliefs might be positive, negative or neutral. They might be rational, based on reason or facts, or irrational, based on false ideas.

Ask yourself if these beliefs are true. Would you say them to a friend? If you wouldn’t say them to someone else, don’t say them to yourself.

3. Challenge negative or inaccurate thinking

Your initial thoughts might not be the only way to view a situation — so test the accuracy of your thoughts. Ask yourself whether your view is consistent with facts and logic or whether other explanations for the situation might be plausible.

Be aware that it can be hard to recognize inaccuracies in thinking. Long-held thoughts and beliefs can feel normal and factual, even though many are just opinions or perceptions.

Also pay attention to thought patterns that erode self-esteem:

  • All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, “If I don’t succeed in this task, I’m a total failure.”
  • Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation. For example, “I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realize I’m not up to this job.”
  • Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don’t count. For example, “I only did well on that test because it was so easy.”
  • Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, “My friend hasn’t replied to my email, so I must have done something to make her angry.”
  • Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, “I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure.”
  • Negative self-talk. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humor. For example, “I don’t deserve anything better.”

4. Adjust your thoughts and beliefs

Now replace negative or inaccurate thoughts with accurate, constructive thoughts. Try these strategies:

  • Use hopeful statements. Treat yourself with kindness and encouragement. Instead of thinking your presentation won’t go well, try telling yourself things such as, “Even though it’s tough, I can handle this situation.”
  • Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes — and mistakes aren’t permanent reflections on you as a person. They’re isolated moments in time. Tell yourself, “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.”
  • Avoid ‘should’ and ‘must’ statements. If you find that your thoughts are full of these words, you might be putting unreasonable demands on yourself — or on others. Removing these words from your thoughts can lead to more realistic expectations.
  • Focus on the positive. Think about the parts of your life that work well. Consider the skills you’ve used to cope with challenging situations.
  • Consider what you’ve learned. If it was a negative experience, what might you do differently the next time to create a more positive outcome?
  • Relabel upsetting thoughts. You don’t need to react negatively to negative thoughts. Instead, think of negative thoughts as signals to try new, healthy patterns. Ask yourself, “What can I think and do to make this less stressful?”
  • Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for making positive changes. For example, “My presentation might not have been perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and remained engaged — which means that I accomplished my goal.”

You might also try these steps, based on acceptance and commitment therapy.

person holding lighter and playing cards
Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

Here is a great spread for self respect.

Are you giving yourself the love you deserve? This reading will help you give yourself some love.

This reading will tell you the following:

1) Why don’t you prioritize your needs?

2) How can you learn to respect your self-worth?

3) How can you be more authentic?

4) A message from your spirit guides.